Keeping secrets is a common practice in many cultures. Sometimes, there are good reasons for this—protecting privacy, maintaining discretion, or shielding oneself from harm. However, the act of keeping secrets should be done cautiously and within reason. It’s essential to balance the need for privacy with the importance of sharing critical information with those who are trustworthy and reliable. While there is always a risk of betrayal, it should not prevent one from disclosing information that could be beneficial or even life-saving.
It’s also crucial for those entrusted with secrets to honor that trust and not betray the confidence placed in them. Knowing when to speak up and when to stay silent is a delicate balance that requires wisdom and discernment.
Here are a few scenarios that illustrate how secrecy can sometimes have unintended and harmful consequences:
“Don’t let your right hand know what the left hand is doing,”* we were advised in our younger days. Yet, the left hand is hurting badly, and the right hand is the one with the much-needed solution.
“Do not let people know that you are pregnant.”* Yet, there are a few individuals close to you who could guide you through the dangers you may encounter in the early period of your pregnancy, offering essential support and advice that could prevent a tragedy.
“Do not profess negativity with your mouth, even when you are sick; always respond that all is well,”* says the Pastor to his congregants. Yet, the Heavenly Father might have sent the person asking, to offer a cure, comfort, or practical assistance to the sick person.
“Do not tell anyone about your job interview.”* Yet, if you shared this information with a trusted person, they might know someone within the company who could provide a referral or advice, significantly improving your chances of success.
“Do not tell anyone about your medical diagnosis.”* Yet, there might be people around you who have walked that road before and could offer advice, resources, or insist you get a second opinion that could lead to a better outcome.
“Keep your relationship secret to avoid jinxing it.”* Yet, there might be friends, family members or others who have gone through similar experiences and can provide insight, support, or a perspective that strengthens the relationship rather than undermines it.
“Do not inform anyone about the abuse you are going through.”* Yet, keeping such a secret may prolong suffering, prevent intervention, and put you in more danger. Confiding in someone trustworthy could open doors to protection, resources, or an escape route.
“Keep your travels secret from friends, associates, and loved ones, to avoid calamity.”* Yet, not informing anyone of your whereabouts could make it difficult for others to assist or find you in case of an emergency or if you encounter danger during your journey.
“Do not disclose your financial troubles.”* Yet, confiding in someone experienced or financially literate might help you find a solution, negotiate better terms, or avoid making a decision that could lead to greater financial loss.
“Do not share the truth about your past mistakes.”* Yet, being open about your past can build genuine connections, allow others to learn from your experiences, and foster environments of trust and understanding.
“Do not let anyone know about your investments.”* Yet, if something happens to you—if you become incapacitated or pass away unexpectedly—no one will know where your investments are or how to access them. Your family could be left in financial limbo, unable to claim what rightfully belongs to them. The resources you worked so hard to build might remain undiscovered, tied up in legal battles, or even lost forever. This highlights the importance of sharing vital information with a trusted person, ensuring that your efforts benefit those you care about, even in your absence.
While there are moments when keeping a secret is wise and necessary, there are also times when sharing the right information with the right person can make all the difference. Secrecy, when taken too far, can isolate us, deprive us of support, and even cause harm. Trust is built on openness and honesty, and while not every secret needs to be shared, we must remember the power of reaching out and allowing others, who are reliable, supportive and trusted, to lend their strength to our journey. Those who are entrusted with secrets should cherish that trust, knowing the potential impact of their words and actions. After all, a culture that balances discretion with transparency is one that nurtures stronger, more meaningful connections.
NB: Johnson Babalola, a Canada based lawyer, leadership consultant and corporate emcee, is a public affairs analyst.
