Please Don’t Touch My Hair!

Related stories

It’s Another Big Brother Season Of Distractions

By Uzor Maxim Uzoatu The country is going through hell...

You must marry me and my children, By Funke Egbemode

‘I will not be with a man who will...

[VIDEO] Drama as Burglar is Caught in Overnight Heist at FCMB Branch in Imo

By Abiola Olawale In a shocking incident at a First...

2027: Why Peter Obi Proposed a Single-Tenure to Atiku, David Mark, Others -Obidient Movt Reveals

By Abiola Olawale The 2023 Presidential candidate of the Labour...

By Johnson Babalola 

Many have written about this topic from different perspectives but with the same message—a woman’s body, including her hair, is her personal space, and touching it without consent is a violation. Some of the writers on this topic include Emma Dabiri (Don’t Touch My Hair), Mpho Tutu van Furth (Forgiveness and Reparation), and Reni Eddo-Lodge (Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race), among others. These authors explore themes of consent, autonomy, race, and power.

 

Emma Dabiri, for instance, writes that nobody should assume the right to touch another person’s hair without consent, adding that such act is a violation of the individual’s personal space.

Similarly, Audre Lorde famously said:

> “Your silence will not protect you.”

This quote resonates deeply in situations where women are discouraged from speaking up about harassment, as silence often emboldens perpetrators rather than shields victims.

*A Culture of Silence and Dismissal*

Across the world, women face varying degrees of abuse, discrimination, and stigmatization—some blatant, some subtle. In many places, there exists a “don’t say, don’t tell” culture, fueled by deep-seated traditions and a lack of trust in institutions meant to protect citizens. Many women fear speaking up, knowing that their concerns may be trivialized, ignored, or turned against them.

*A Personal Encounter: The Price of Speaking Up*

During a recent visit to a friend’s house in Nigeria, his 23-year-old daughter was home. When I asked why, she revealed that she had quit her job—not because she was incompetent, but because she was uncomfortable.

She normally wears her hair in an afro style, and within a week of starting the job, she noticed a pattern of patronizing behavior from colleagues, both young and old. Without her permission, they would touch her hair, making all kinds of comments:

– “Your hair is beautiful, and so are you.”

– “What do you use for your hair?”

– “Which salon do you patronize?”

– “Your boyfriend is lucky.”

The older women were not left out. They touched her hair while jokingly asking:

– “When are you getting married, dear?”

– “I have a nephew I can introduce to you.

At first, she endured it. She needed the job. But harassment has a way of escalating. Over time, the comments evolved into sexual and sensual statements.* She felt her silence was being misconstrued as consent.

She had a good relationship with her parents and confided in them. They encouraged her to report the matter. She did—but encountered a common workplace problem:

– One of the people she had to report to was among those harassing her.

– Management refused to bring in an independent workplace consultant.

– They kept asking for proof—but how do you prove something that happens in moments when no third party is present? And even when others were around, they were unwilling to get involved.

 

Frustrated and unsupported, she resigned.

*Consent, Respect, and Workplace Culture*

As we talked, we agreed that being touched without consent—whether it’s hair or any part of the body—is a deeper issue about respect, personal boundaries, and power. It speaks to a larger workplace culture problem where:

– Harassment is normalized and excused as harmless curiosity or compliments.

– Women are expected to “tolerate” discomfort to keep their jobs.

– The burden of proof is placed on the victim rather than the perpetrator.

This is why it is wrong to ignore or dismiss allegations of sexual harassment. Failure to investigate such complaints signals to perpetrators that they can continue unchecked, while victims either suffer in silence or are forced out.

*Lessons to Take Away*

1. Consent is key – No one should touch a woman’s hair (or any part of her body) without her permission.

2. Workplace harassment should not be trivialized – It erodes confidence, damages careers, and can escalate if left unchecked.

3. Institutions must protect victims, not shield perpetrators– Employers must create structures that allow independent investigations of harassment claims.

4. Silence is not consent – Just because a woman does not immediately protest does not mean she is comfortable.

5. Every woman deserves respect – Whether in the workplace, public spaces, or private life, women should not have to fight for basic dignity.

To quote Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie:

> “Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we must make it our culture.”

If we want a society where women feel safe, valued, and respected, then we must challenge these harmful norms—starting with something as simple as not touching a woman’s hair without her consent.

*_Johnson Babalola is a Canadian immigration lawyer, workplace issues consultant, author, writer, storyteller, and story-based leadership trainer and the Founder of JB Law & Life Compass (JBLLC: @jblifecompass), a mentorship initiative for young lawyers and law students in Nigeria._*

*Follow him on IG @jbdlaw; FB: https://www.facebook.com/jbdlaw and www.johnsonbabalola.com/www.tpmattorneys.com_*

*You can obtain a copy of his newly released book, REJECTED on Amazon, FriesenPress, Barnes & Noble, Kobo etc.*

Subscribe

- Never miss a story with notifications

- Gain full access to our premium content

- Browse free from up to 5 devices at once

Latest stories

NDN
Latest News
It’s Another Big Brother Season Of DistractionsYou must marry me and my children, By Funke Egbemode[VIDEO] Drama as Burglar is Caught in Overnight Heist at FCMB Branch in Imo2027: Why Peter Obi Proposed a Single-Tenure to Atiku, David Mark, Others -Obidient Movt RevealsOkpebholo vs Asue Ighodalo: Anxieties as Supreme Court Reserves Judgment on Edo Governorship Election Case2027 Election Battle Rages as Gen David Mark Quits PDP, Leads Coalition Against TinubuOil Markets Refocus on OPEC as Iran-Israel Conflict CoolsRussia's War Economy Faces Imminent RecessionThailand’s PM Paetongtarn Shinawatra suspended over leaked Hun Sen call2027: Atiku, David Mark, Secondus, Tambuwal, Others Hold Crucial Meeting, Weigh OptionsRanked: 40 Best Countries in the World, According to PeopleOPEC Tensions Build as Kazakhstan's Oil Production Hits All-Time HighDrama as Lagos Monarch Strips Six Chiefs of Titles Over Labour Party Rally AttendanceAnxieties as Ondo Govt Launches Probe into Akeredolu’s Death, Puts Widow Under ScrutinyTrump Blasts Elon Musk Over Renewed Criticism of US Spending Bill
X whatsapp