Throughout the years, I’ve engaged in numerous conversations with immigrants. Here’s one dialogue with a woman who arrived in Canada with her children, spending five years without legal status:
“Sir, I’m just weary of being here.”
“Have you considered going back home?”
“Yes, I have, but the shame of returning without obtaining legal status here is something I can’t bear. The children love it here, even though I’m not thrilled about their behaviors – a different discussion for another day. Also, I’m growing apart from my husband, who remains back home daily. He’s getting frustrated; he wants us back. He says he misses us.”
“Do you miss him too?”
“I do, sir. He’s a good man, and I’m aware there’s a limit to how much I can test his patience.”
“If you return home, will you be okay financially?”
“Yes, my husband has a good income. He said he’ll build a business for me based on the experience I’ve gathered here. We have homes in the village and the city, including rental properties.”
“What will you miss about here if you return home?”
“The good healthcare.”
“That’s it?”
“Honestly, that’s it.”
“Are you living with any health challenges?”
“High blood pressure.”
“You’ve always had it?”
“No, my health was perfect before I came here. I had paid staff assisting me in my daily activities. But here, I run around like a headless chicken, and in no time, started having health challenges. It is also very lonely here sir. The children don’t have my time. I work, work, work. I cry often.”
“To be clear, you prefer being in an environment with good healthcare to address health issues caused by the same environment, rather than returning to an environment where the health issue might not exist due to a better lifestyle and support system?”
“Hmmmnnnnn. I am confused, sir.”
“I understand. Have a deep heart-to-heart discussion with yourself about your priorities in life – getting back to good health, maintaining a good relationship with your husband, or continuing to run around with no peace of mind?”
“Hmmmmnnn.”
“Then discuss with your children and spouse. If needed, seek counseling from professionals. Make an informed decision. The truth is, immigration is not for everyone. We should base our decisions on our own situation, considering health, family cohesion, goals, and purpose. May you find a way to navigate through this and find peace.”
“Thank you, sir.”
NB: Johnson Babalola, a Canada based lawyer, leadership consultant and corporate emcee, is a public affairs analyst.
