“My guy, congratulations on your upcoming birthday. Wishing you all the best bro.” A friend of 30 years had called ahead of my birthday in 2022. We both now reside in different countries with our families, but we would talk often about different issues of life from time to time. “Thanks bro. It is going to be a quiet and reflective one for me.” I responded. We thereafter shared some jokes and ended the phone call.
Then came the birthday. A few friends came to my house to celebrate with me while some, including my friend, connected remotely to wish me well. There were a few surprises from friends and family members. It was a small but beautiful celebration gathering.
The day after the birthday, I called everyone that came and those that could not attend to appreciate them for their time, gifts, prayers, and kind words. It was the right thing to do. My friend was very warm when I called him. We shared some things about aging and we then moved on. A few weeks down the road, I would call my friend, but he would not respond. He was, however, very active on a common social media platform we shared. I sent him private messages, but no response.
Concerned about the lack of response from my friend, I called his wife who innocently and enthusiastically asked if I liked the unique gift my friend specially picked for my birthday. She added that if I did not like it, she would ask my friend to send the receipt for an exchange. “Gift?”, I asked her. I informed her that I received no such gift from my friend. “Impossible”, she responded. She informed me that my friend would talk about the special gift often and how he was sure I must have appreciated it. “So, you have not discussed the gift with him?”. She asked. “How could I discuss a gift I knew nothing about”. I responded. “I will ask him to call you”. She assured me.
Within an hour, my friend called me. He started apologizing and when I asked why he was apologizing, the following conversation followed:
“To surprise you, I had ordered a painting you had always wanted for 25 years. I went to great lengths to have it made for you. Apart from the cost, it took 6 months to get it done. I was therefore hurt when you said nothing about the gift during and after your birthday.”
“Wow! Thanks bro. How did you send it?”
“Through courier and it was not returned to me undelivered. In fact, the courier company had confirmed delivery.”
“Let me appreciate you for the thought of the gift, the extent you went into to procure it including your time and financial expense. You are a true friend. I am sorry for the hurt you experienced because of your expectation that I should have acknowledged the gift. As you now know, I knew nothing about it.”
“I behaved badly bro. I allowed my feelings to affect my judgement. I was so blinded by my feelings that I did not discuss how I felt with my wife, yourself, or anyone. I should have communicated with you about it. Open, well intentioned, and sincere communication oils the wheels of relationships.”
“You meant well bro. However, you should not have ignored my calls, texts and even email messages.”
“I have no excuse. I need to work on myself, and I will. A sincere friend should give without expecting anything in return. I ask for your forgiveness. This will not repeat itself again. A gift, no matter the cost, should not cause ill feeling between us.”
“Nothing to forgive bro. I have learnt from this as well. Now, let’s go after the courier company.”
“Thanks bro. You are a good man.”
“No, your wife is the good one here. Thank God for her”
“Miss you, bro”
“Miss you too”
NB: Johnson Babalola, a Canada based lawyer, management consultant and corporate emcee, is a public affairs analyst. Follow him for discussions on real life issues that effect us all: https://www.facebook.com/jbdlaw
