Some years ago, a friend posted a reminder in our old-school WhatsApp group urging us to reconnect as the friends we once were. Many of us hadn’t seen each other for over 30 years, and in that time, each had carved out successful paths for themselves, becoming professors, senior advocates, chiefs, otunbas, ministers of religion, business CEOs, senior police and military officers, judges, senior civil servants, political office holders and more. This evolution naturally led to a shift in our interactions.
It became an unspoken norm on the platform to address each other by titles rather than the familiar first names we used in our younger days. Having spent most of my adult life in the West, this practice felt unfamiliar, but I hesitated to comment, preferring to observe and avoid cultural missteps. Almost as if sensing my internal dilemma, KJ spoke up, reminding us that this platform was a gathering of friends who had once called each other by first names during our school days.
He emphasized that the platform, meant as a social gathering, should not transform into a quasi-official space. KJ believed that the exchange of titles and formalities had diminished the joy of communicating with childhood friends. Responses like “I agree Prof,” “Happy birthday my lord,” or “Chief, how is the family?” had taken away the casual, carefree nature of our conversations, reminiscent of the good old days. According to him, being overly formal or semi-formal created barriers between friends. KJ advocated for the continuation of addressing each other by our childhood names, or appropriate childhood nicknames, asserting that this practice could deepen our relationships.
While acknowledging and celebrating achievements, KJ urged us not to let addressing achievers by their titles rather than their names dominate a platform where many might have achieved great things without formal titles.
He underscored his point with a compelling example, emphasizing that individuals who devoted their entire adult lives to the noble profession of elementary school teaching, molding the career paths of young students, should be held in high esteem. Furthermore, he championed the recognition of those who chose to put their professional aspirations on hold to effectively raise children, asserting that their contributions were equally deserving of admiration and respect as those who pursued relentless career progression. In his view, everyone’s chosen path, whether within the realms of education, parenting, or career advancement, held intrinsic value and deserved equal acknowledgment in the tapestry of accomplishments. In conclusion, he urged us to appreciate and cherish the diversity of paths we had taken, embracing the informal camaraderie that had defined our friendships from the beginning.
NB: Johnson Babalola, a Canada based lawyer, leadership consultant and corporate emcee, is a public affairs analyst.
