The Gift of Hindsight: What I Would Tell My Younger Self, By Johnson Babalola

Abiola Olawale
Writer

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By Johnson Babalola @jbdlaw

Hindsight, they say, is life’s most generous teacher—but it sends its lessons late. It is only after the storms that the patterns become clear; only after the wrong turns that the map begins to make sense.

As I celebrate another birthday today and have grown older, I often find myself reflecting on the choices I made when I was younger—the ones that shaped my journey, both personally and professionally. And in conversations with some clients and friends in their fifties and above, I hear a recurring refrain that resonates deeply: “If I knew then what I know now…”

Those words are heavy with lessons learned too late—about relationships, business, health, priorities, and decisions that once seemed harmless but later defined entire destinies.

Some have said that if they knew what they now know, they would not have married the person they married.The signs of incompatibility were there from the beginning, but youthful excitement and the illusion of potential often silenced common sense. Many confused attraction for compatibility and mistook intensity for love. Others married out of pressure—from family, peers, or societal expectations—and now look back, not in bitterness, but with the understanding that love alone does not sustain a relationship. What sustains it are values, respect, patience, and emotional maturity.

I have seen the same hindsight in business. Some of those same clients confess that they would not have gone into partnership with the people they did in their younger days. They had mistaken enthusiasm for character, and shared dreams for shared values. It is one of the quiet tragedies of ambition—thinking that vision alone is enough to sustain a venture. I too have learned that before you shake hands, you must study character; before you share vision, you must test integrity. The best partnerships are not built on excitement but on trust and mutual principles. I have learned too that you stay away from entering into businesses you know nothing about.

When I think back on my own early years, I also recall my relentless pursuit of achievement. Like many young professionals, I wanted to make my mark—fast. I equated success with the speed of my rise and the size of my accomplishments. I worked long hours, often at the expense of rest, reflection, and relationships. But with time, I have learned that success without balance is a form of failure disguised as achievement. The law will always be there, but the moments you miss with loved ones will not. Your body will eventually remind you that it, too, needs representation and care. And often, some of the people you hurt your bones for will not be around to mend them when they start breaking.

In the quiet conversations I have had with some clients and peers, the topic of money and retirement comes up often. Many now say that if they had known better, they would have planned earlier. They would have saved and invested more intentionally, spent less trying to impress others, and focused more on creating long-term stability. Some also wish they had nurtured friendships and family relationships with more care. It is a hard truth that in old age, loneliness can be as painful as poverty. I see some older clients live alone far away from loved ones.

That is why I now tell my younger colleagues and friends: plan for retirement early. Start saving and investing from your first paycheck. Be intentional about the relationships you build and sustain. Success without people to share it with becomes hollow. Build friendships that outlive your career. Cultivate bonds with your family and companions. Most of the people who will walk with you into old age are those you genuinely cared for along the way.

There is a Yoruba proverb that says: _“T’omode ba ṣubú, a wo wájú; t’agba ba ṣubú, a wo ẹ̀yìn wò.”_ It means, _“When a child falls, he looks ahead; when an elder falls, he looks back—for wisdom lives in reflection and preparation.”_ With age comes the gift of reflection—the ability to see what youth often overlooks. As we grow older, we realize that the real goal is not just to prepare for a good career but to prepare for a good life after it.

As I look back, there are things I would have done differently and it has not been a bed of roses all through. Yet, it has not been a bed of thorns all through too. Life has been kind to me and I have been lucky with supportive family, a loving wife and children, business partners and friends. I often think about the kind of legacy I want to leave behind. Not the number of cases won, nor the titles held, but the people I have helped, mentored, and inspired along the way. When you strip away the accolades and possessions, what remains is your character. That is the true measure of a life well lived.

If I could whisper to my younger self now, I would tell him to slow down, to be intentional, to avoid toxic relationships, to prioritize peace over popularity, and to invest more in the kind of life that will make his older self proud. I would tell him to value health, relationships, integrity, and rest as much as ambition.

And if I could speak to you—the young professional reading this—I would say: don’t wait until you are older to learn these lessons. Success is not a race; it is a journey that rewards patience, reflection, and authenticity. Make decisions today that your future self will thank you for.

The true gift of hindsight is not regret—it is wisdom. And the best use of wisdom is to help others see earlier what you saw late.

N.B: Johnson Babalola, Esq.
Lawyer | Mentor | Storyteller
Toronto, Canada
@jbdlaw
@jblifecompass
@jbandthings
@jblawpro

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