When Trust Hurts: Beating Your Chest and Life’s Letdowns, By Johnson Babalola

The New Diplomat
Writer

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DT, a young boy from the village of Magbaraleniyan, came home from school one afternoon, clearly upset. His grandmother, KL, noticed the troubled expression on his face and asked, “What’s the matter, my dear?”

“Grandma, MJ bullied me again today,” DT replied, with a frustrated sigh. “But my friend GF said he’ll help me beat him up tomorrow. I felt so relieved that I even beat my chest, confident he’ll make things right for me!”

KL smiled gently, drawing him closer. “Ah, my boy, be careful about beating your chest in trust of what someone else will do for you. People can mean well, but that doesn’t mean they will always come through. It’s the first time I’m hearing about this bullying, but I promise I’ll come with you to the school tomorrow and talk to the teachers. However, you must never rely on violence or put your trust entirely in what another person says they will do.”

Listening intently, DT frowned. “So when shouldn’t I beat my chest, Grandma? What other situations?”

KL’s wise eyes twinkled as she began. “There are many times, child, when beating your chest in confidence about what others will do can lead to disappointment. For example, when people are getting married, they often believe that the love they feel today will last forever, that their spouse will never change. But people do change, and love can fade. You could find yourself wondering if you made a mistake, beating your chest and trusting they would always love you the same.”

She paused, then added, “It also happens with friends. You may have a friend for many years, someone you beat your chest for, thinking they’ll always be by your side. But sometimes, when that friend reaches a higher station in life—perhaps they become wealthy or gain power—they may no longer be as accessible. You could find yourself disappointed, realizing that the person you trusted isn’t the same anymore.”

KL leaned back, her voice lowering slightly. “And what about children? Parents often beat their chests, believing their children will care for them in old age. But when the time comes, those same children might have other priorities, leaving their parents feeling abandoned. Life changes people’s paths, and those you rely on might not always follow through.”

DT’s eyes were wide, soaking in every word. KL continued, “Even when you think people praise you today, don’t beat your chest believing they will support you forever. Fortune can change, and so can people. Sometimes those who cheer for you in good times disappear when things get tough.”

DT nodded, a hint of understanding crossing his face. “So, should I never trust anyone?”

“Not quite,” KL said, gently patting his hand. “You should trust, but always be prepared for the possibility that things can change. It’s fine to hope for the best, but don’t rely entirely on others. Instead, build yourself—your strength, your character, your abilities. That way, when people disappoint you, it won’t break you.”

She smiled warmly. “Remember, overreliance on others can lead to heartache. If you put too much faith in someone else and they let you down, it’s your chest that will hurt… and sometimes, it will hurt very badly.”

NB: Johnson Babalola, a Canada based lawyer, leadership consultant and corporate emcee, is a public affairs analyst.

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